


Steal Me Not, Here My Heart Lies

by minijhi



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Collars, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Platonic Choking, Puppy Baekhyun, Unexplained Magical Transformation, don't ask that came out of nowhere, is this a baekchen with a side of bff kaibaeksoo, or a platonic kaibaeksoo with a side of baekchen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-23 11:16:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10718295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minijhi/pseuds/minijhi
Summary: Baekhyun walks out of Jongdae’s life, and in again as a puppy.





	Steal Me Not, Here My Heart Lies

**Author's Note:**

> Title loosely taken from Jonathan Swift's letters. This was supposed to be 5k of puppy!baek fluff, but as usual, my fluff attempts are always angsty. Not sure it deserves an M rating since nothing happens or is even mentioned, but there's a fair bit of swearing and that strange platonic choking tag, so.
> 
> Possible slight warnings for anxiety and depression.

Baekhyun hates fighting with Jongdae. He can’t imagine any couples enjoy fighting with one another, but Baekhyun feels like he’s being wrung inside out whenever he quarrels with Jongdae. It’s nothing big, honestly, just the inevitable fight that stems from two people who exist so closely intertwined, but in the moment Baekhyun feels like the anger will be the death of him.

Jongdae sinks into the chair.

“Say it again, Baekhyun.” he says wearily. “Go ahead.”

Baekhyun shakes his head, mute.

Jongdae sighs. “Then why say it in the first place?” he asks. They’ve passed the stage of yelling, but if Baekhyun thought the anger was a murderer's handshake, this sorrowful disappointment is a slow, dreadful torture.

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun breathes. “I’m sorry, but— it’s your fault too, you know.”

He doesn’t run, even though he wants to. Instead, deliberately, mechanically, he puts on both his shoes, takes a jacket from the coat stand. Jongdae watches him without a word, and Baekhyun doesn’t expect him to say anything. Not after how everything that’s been said so far has turned out.

He opens the door a slither, willing himself not to turn back. He doesn’t meet Jongdae’s gaze as he leaves, and Jongdae doesn’t come after him.

It takes Baekhyun sixty-two days to walk through the front door again.

 

-

 

“Hey, you’re okay.” A disembodied voice says, and Baekhyun presses a palm over his eyes, waiting for his vision to clear. His whole body aches, his skull feels like it’s been used as a trampoline for elephants. Baekhyun’s not sure where he is, but it smells like disinfectant and polish, and Kim Jongin is hovering over him anxiously.

“What happened?” Baekhyun tries to say.

It comes out as a low whine. Baekhyun feels like he’s going to be sick. He dissolves back onto the soft carpet he’s lying on, closing his eyes. Even breathing in takes a monumental amount of effort. The fabric beneath him is slightly damp, but it’ll have to do until Baekhyun can muster enough energy to get up.

“So cute.” Jongin says, and Baekhyun tries to snap at the hand that cards through his hair. He knows he’s small in comparison to Jongin, but Jongin was always a bit kinder than Sehun in pretending otherwise. 

It feels good, though. Baekhyun decides not to complain, focusing on being still while the migraine ebbs. A few minutes must pass before he collects himself enough to try again. 

Nothing comes out but a small bark. Baekhyun startles, sitting up, and almost falls over.

“Oh, don’t do that.” Jongin says, rushing to settle him. Baekhyun’s suddenly fully aware that he’s not just smaller than Jongin, he’s tiny. Like, he could fit into Jongin’s hands. Which is what is happening now, when Jongin picks him off the table-  _table?_  and makes to carry him off.

Baekhyun yips so loudly the noise frightens them both. He escapes Jongin’s grip, pattering across the table as fast as he can. He’s on all fours, why is he on all fours, what is—

Baekhyun doesn’t get to finish that train of thought. Suddenly he’s flying off the edge of the table, tumbling past the wooden surface and falling through air. Panic seizes him as he plummets straight towards the ground, but a second later he’s caught by gentle hands and pulled tight into a warm chest.

“What—” Baekhyun says, but he can’t hear himself over the rushing sound of blood in his ears, and the sight of Jongdae’s face above him, strong arms cradling Baekhyun close.

Jongdae looks down at him, wide-eyed. Baekhyun can feel the quick staccato of Jongdae’s own heartbeat against him.

“You scared me.” Jongdae scolds, and Baekhyun feels confused and wrong-footed. This Jongdae isn’t the one he walked out on a few hours ago. His voice is gentle, honey to flies.

Jongdae stands, Baekhyun still in his arms, and Baekhyun’s thrown off by how effortlessly Jongdae picks him up. Baekhyun looks down, and finds himself looking at four paws and the soft brown fur of an undoubtedly fluffy creature.

Jongdae hands him back to Jongin, and Baekhyun wriggles fruitlessly, reality starting to sink in. Those are his paws. His fur. He’s an animal, small enough to be carried, tame enough for Jongdae and Jongin to be handling the way they are. 

“There, little guy.” Jongin says, placing him back onto what Baekhyun now sees is a nest of towels on the table. One hand is enough to keep Baekhyun pinned down so that he can’t run off again. Baekhyun wrestles it anyway, twisting and turning under Jongin’s large hand until Jongdae puts a hand over his head, gently stroking through his fur. Without meaning to, Baekhyun melts instantly. Jongdae’s soft and warm and most importantly, he smells like home. Jongin’s a friend, and Baekhyun can sense that, but right now with his senses in overdrive, all Baekhyun wants is Jongdae.

“Oh.” Jongdae says, sounding surprised. The weight of Jongin’s hand lifts off his back, and Jongdae cups his over Baekhyun’s head fully.

“You said you found him on your doorstep?” Jongin asks.

“Yeah.” Jongdae says. “He was just lying there, I was worried. I thought he got lost, but he doesn’t have a collar or anything.”

Jongin strokes Baekhyun’s cheek lightly with a finger and Baekhyun lets him, too busy trying to figure out what has happened. He barely remembers anything after the fight with Jongdae. He vaguely recalls running down the streets, being pushed around by the evening crowd, but how the hell did it go from that into _this_?

Baekhyun chews down on his forearm just to be sure he’s not dreaming. He’s barely closed his teeth around the fur before Jongdae’s fingers are pinching his cheeks and pulling him off.

“Why are you like this, little puppy?” Jongdae asks, clamping a hand around Baekhyun’s front paws. “Are you hungry?”

“I’ll get him something to eat.” Jongin says, standing up. Baekhyun doesn’t pay any attention as Jongin leaves the room. He climbs all over Jongdae’s arm, finally flopping face-first into the palm of his hands, rolling onto his back to blink up at Jongdae.

“ _Hello_.” he tries to say, giving Jongdae his cutest expression. It’s what Jongdae always calls his puppy-face, and now that he’s a real dog, surely the effect would work at least ten times better. “ _It’s me, Baekhyun_.”

Jongdae laughs, bending over to kiss him on the top of his head. “Yes, you’re very cute.” he murmurs, stroking back one of Baekhyun’s floppy ears.

The door opens again and Jongin sticks his head in. 

“Hyung, why don’t you bring him over? He can stay in one of the kennels overnight, I’ll move him to the shelter tomorrow.” Jongin says. “It’s getting late, I’ll drive you home.”

 _What?_   Baekhyun thinks, alarmed. What kennel? What shelter? Jongdae can’t be leaving without Baekhyun, can he?

NO, Baekhyun whines in protest, kicking his legs and batting against Jongdae’s chest as the other picks him up. 

 _Kim Jongdae, you cannot do this to me_ , Baekhyun demands sternly, but Jongdae just frowns, shushing Baekhyun’s barks.

“It’s okay, little one.” Jongdae says. “We’re taking you to a nice warm kennel, there’ll be food and soft blankets, and tomorrow you’ll get to meet some new friends while waiting for your owner to find you. Doesn’t that sound great?”

It sounds horrifying. Baekhyun can’t stay the night in a kennel. He can’t go to a shelter. What if someone comes in and adopts him? What if he never sees Jongdae again?

Baekhyun makes the loudest, most pitiful noise he can, smushing his face into the crook of Jongdae’s elbow.

“What’s going on?” a new voice asks, as Baekhyun is carried from the small vet’s office out into the corridor. “Jongdae-hyung, did you get a puppy?” 

“He’s not mine.” Jongdae says, and Baekhyun cries even louder.

“Jongin, why’s he making all this noise?” Jongdae asks, trying helplessly to soothe Baekhyun. Baekhyun stops long enough to give his arm an affectionate nip before launching into protest once more. “He was so quiet before.” 

“He’s fine physically,” Jongin says. “I think he’s just a little overwhelmed. Come on, he might like it better in the kennel.”

They take Baekhyun into the backroom of the clinic, Sehun trailing behind them. There are several cages and kennels for the pets to stay overnight after their treatment, and while Baekhyun has never been here before, he knows Jongin makes sure it’s only the best kind of environment for pets away from home. The little kennel that Jongdae places him in is just as warm and safe as Jongdae promised, and Baekhyun settles slightly, scurrying in to take a long drink of water.

Baekhyun drinks until the bowl is almost empty, tuning out the sounds of Jongin and Jongdae talking. He hasn’t realized how thirsty or hungry he was until now. Baekhyun noses into the bowl of dog food, sniffing warily, but seconds later the animal part of his brain rejoices and seizes the food.

It’s perhaps only a minute or two later that he’s done eating, but he feels marginally better. Poking his head out of the kennel, he barks for Jongdae, who crouches down beside him with a fond smile.

“Bye, little puppy.” Jongdae says, waving his fingers in front of Baekhyun’s face. “I hope your owner finds you soon.”

 _No, no, no._ Jongdae can’t leave. Jongdae can’t go home without Baekhyun, let someone else take him. He lets out a pathetic whimper, throwing himself uselessly against the plastic fence surrounding his kennel. Jongdae frowns, leaning over to run his hand across Baekhyun’s back. 

“Don’t cry, puppy. Someone will come for you soon.” Jongdae promises. “How could they not when you’re such a sweet thing?”

Jongin calls to Jongdae from the door and Jongdae turns to bid Sehun good night before heading out. 

_Jongdae, come back._

Baekhyun howls, canine version of sobs shaking his tiny frame. Sehun hurries over to pick him up, rocking Baekhyun gently in his arms. “Don’t cry, it’s okay, you’ll be okay.”

Jongdae glances back.  Maybe he's frowning, Baekhyun can't tell past the tears blurring his vision. Then the door swings shut behind Jongdae, and everything goes blank.

 

-

 

There’s a steady ticking noise overhead when Baekhyun wakes up the next morning. He stretches his limbs out, frowning when the spot on the bed next to him is empty.

“Jongdae?” he calls, and the noise he makes is but a low rumble. He props himself up on one elbow, but the movement is unfamiliar to his body, and Baekhyun cranks his eyes open at last.

 _Oh, god._ Baekhyun thinks. _Oh god, no._

Tamping down the urge to howl, Baekhyun pushes up onto all fours, wandering out to look for Sehun. There’s an elegant metal cage on the table, and inside a furry brown-and-white creature is fast asleep.

“Hey! Hello! Hello there!” Baekhyun shouts, and it comes out as an excited volley of barks.

The creature nearly leaps out of its skin, smacking against the side of the cage. Finally, it gathers itself and turns to look at Baekhyun, and Baekhyun sees that it is a sleek Papillon, bandage over one paw.

“Sorry.” Baekhyun says, trying to climb out of his pen to no avail. “Hello! Can you understand me?”

The Papillon barks back cheerfully, but that’s all it is to Baekhyun. Baekhyun fumes, sinking down against the tiled floor as the Papillon continues to yip and chatter. What’s the point of being a dog that can’t even talk to other dogs?

Nevertheless, the other dog seems so thrilled to meet him that Baekhyun perks up a little, watching him rattle his cage as he tries to talk to Baekhyun. Baekhyun replies when he feels like he’s been asked a question, even though he can’t understand what the other is saying, and like this they hold a conversation for all of five minutes before Sehun comes in with a tall girl in a long dress.

“Bye!” Baekhyun chirps at the Papillon, and the girl smiles at him before taking the cage away.

“Feeling better?” Sehun asks, crouching down beside Baekhyun’s cage. “You certainly seem to have your spirits back.”

Baekhyun’s not completely cheered by any means, but today his dog side seems to be taking control, happy to eat and drink and shake Sehun’s hand obediently whenever Sehun asks, which delights the younger boy to no end.

Jongin comes in shortly after breakfast, relieving Sehun of his shift.

“You’re still here?” he asks Baekhyun, and snaps a couple of photos of Baekhyun on his phone. “I’ve called most of the shelters and vets in the area, but your owner seems to be doing things the hard way, there’s no sign of them yet.”

Jongin tickles Baekhyun’s nose. “It’s alright, we’ll get you home soon.” He turns to Sehun. “Hey, are you meeting Jongdae for lunch today? He left his jacket in my car, can you take it to him?”

Sehun hides a yawn behind his hand and nods. “Yeah, an early lunch, I'm about to go meet him right now. Toss it into my bag, I’m going to the bathroom real quick and then I’ll head out.”

“Thanks!” Jongin says. “Last night shift of the week, Sehun, you’re almost done.”

“Can’t wait!” Sehun calls back, and vanishes around the back of the office.

Jongin retrieves Sehun’s backpack from under the counter, Baekhyun sneaking out beside him curiously. The jacket that Jongdae left in Jongin’s car turns out to be Baekhyun’s, a cherry-coloured windbreaker he’d bought several years ago on a trip to China with Yixing. Baekhyun’s worn it almost every other week since. And apparently, so has Jongdae.

Jongin carefully folds the jacket into Sehun’s bag, and Baekhyun hides behind a chair when Jongin stands again, heading for the doors. The backpack lies half-unzipped on the floor, beckoning.

It’s really not Baekhyun’s fault what happens next.

 

-

 

It’s uncomfortable and stuffy inside Sehun’s bag, and Baekhyun can see the beginnings of a small colony of stale popcorn at bottom of the bag. Baekhyun’s alright though, because the windbreaker smells like Jongdae, and Sehun left the vet’s office at least half-an-hour ago with Baekhyun in tow, and he still has no idea.

Which means Baekhyun is about to have lunch with Jongdae.

Baekhyun can’t tell where he is, but at least Sehun is gentle with his bag.  He's squished only once when Sehun leans back against the wall of the underground to let a crowd pass. The bag jostles as Sehun takes the stairs two at a time out of the station, and almost at once Baekhyun hears Jongdae’s voice.  The fabric overhead rustles as Jongdae wraps Sehun in a hug, Baekhyun’s heart soars.

“Thanks for coming out, hyung.” Sehun says. “Wanna go get jjigae?”

“Not like you guys gave me much choice.” Jongdae says. “You guys don’t have to do this. I mean, I’m okay, no matter what Chanyeol seems to think.”

“Do what?” Sehun says, and Baekhyun can picture him flashing Jongdae a crooked grin.

“Okay, okay.” Jongdae says. “Let’s go eat.”

They squeeze into the restaurant and Baekhyun tries to pry the bag open from the inside. It’s getting a little claustrophobic, and Baekhyun wants to see Jongdae.

“Sehun?” Jongdae asks. “What’s in your bag? It’s making a funny noise.”

“What?” Sehun calls back, sounding far away. “I have your jacket. It’s in my bag, you can open it.”

“Uh.” Jongdae says, voice coming closer. “Sehun, I don’t think you heard me. Your bag is wiggling, now.”

The zip rustles, and suddenly light is pouring in. Baekhyun blinks.

“Oh, hello.” Jongdae says, eyes crinkling as he smiles down at Baekhyun. He turns over his shoulder. “Sehun, did you steal Jongin’s puppy?”

Sehun sets two trays of doenjang jjigae down onto the table, steaming hot. Baekhyun’s mouth waters just looking at them, but he’s not looking for long before he’s being lifted up into the air by the scruff of his neck.

Sehun squints at him. “What are you doing here?” Baekhyun kicks a paw into Sehun’s face.

“I can’t believe this.” Sehun groans. “How did you get into my bag? Jongin must be looking for you everywhere, what are you doing. Hyung, can you believe this guy?" 

Jongdae grins as Sehun drops Baekhyun back into the bag, sinking into the cushy windbreaker once more, but this time Sehun leaves it unzipped. “Stay there.” Sehun says. “I’m going to have to call Jongin.”

Sehun disappears, phone in tow and he returns shortly, flicking water into Baekhyun’s face. “You’re in so much trouble, mister. Jongin turned the entire place upside down looking for you.”

It’s worth it, though. After lunch, Sehun and Jongdae take him to a nearby playground, and Jongdae rocks him gently back and forth on a swing too short for anyone else’s legs. All too soon, Jongdae has to go back to work, and Baekhyun scrunches up his face. Jongdae squeezes Baekhyun’s cheeks with two fingers before he can wail.

“Don’t cry, I’ll come visit you after work tomorrow.” Jongdae promises. “Be good, puppy.”

 _“Okay.”_ Baekhyun says, and he doesn’t know what the expression on his face is, but it makes Jongdae laugh.

 

-

 

Jongdae comes back the next evening, like he promised. And then the next, and the next. Baekhyun’s on cloud nine whenever Jongdae drops by, chasing Jongdae around the clinic, tripping Jongin and Sehun underfoot. He shamelessly begs for cuddles and Jongdae never holds back, and when he’s tired Jongdae puts him back in his kennel and sings him to sleep.

At first, Baekhyun thinks it’s because he’s the cutest thing on the planet, how could Jongdae possibly resist?  But he overhears Jongin and Sehun talking about how it’s been almost a week since Baekhyun’s left, how Jongdae never goes home anymore. Since then, Baekhyun keeps an eye out, and his heart sinks.

The dark circles under Jongdae's eyes are telling, and even though he smiles and laughs and jokes around, the joy never reaches his eyes. The others are on shifts, Baekhyun learns, taking Jongdae out for lunch and dinner whenever they can. Everyone’s called Baekhyun at least a dozen times, and still nobody knows where he is.

Baekhyun bites on his front paw so hard it bleeds, angry and frustrated, but the look of sheer devastation Jongdae gives him when he comes over the next day makes Baekhyun swear to never do it again. When Jongdae makes to leave an hour later, Baekhyun feels the familiar tears and anxiety of the first night coming back.

The door opens and shuts, Jongdae is gone, and Baekhyun sinks to the floor, a pained noise leaving his throat.

“Oh no. No, no, don’t be like this.” Sehun begs, crouching down over Baekhyun. “Not again.”

“Jongin!” Sehun shouts, and Baekhyun’s entire frame rattles from the loud noise. “Jongdae-hyung!”

Some of it is part of Baekhyun’s ploy to make Jongdae incapable of leaving him again, but mostly the feelings of dread and desperation are very, very real. Baekhyun curls into a ball, letting Sehun shuffle him around until he’s dizzy and disoriented.

He’s deposited into a familiar pair of arms, and Baekhyun looks up to find Jongdae above him again, eyes creased in unhappiness. Baekhyun tucks himself against Jongdae’s chest with a whine. Jongdae still smells like the ramyeon shop near their apartment, and Baekhyun wishes he could have gone with.

“He’s calmed down.” Sehun says, letting out a relieved sigh. “Wow hyung, I’ve never seen anything like it. I thought he was going to cry until he passed out again.”

“He misses his owner.” Jongdae says. “Oh, sweetheart.”

Jongin crouches down beside them, placing a hand over Baekhyun’s head. “I don’t know, hyung. No one seems to be looking for him. I’ve called every shelter in Seoul, but nothing.”

“What does that mean?” Jongdae asks.

Jongin shrugs. “We might move him to a shelter, after all. Put him back in the system.” 

Baekhyun feels Jongdae tense around him. He’s too tired to cry about the shelter, even though he knows he should.

“He’ll be alright.” Sehun says. “No one would be able to resist, look at him. I’d consider taking him myself if I didn’t think Vivi would kick up a fuss.”

Jongin’s silent for a long moment. He moves his hand away, picking at the tear of his jeans instead. “Jongdae-hyung, perhaps you would consider adopting him? I know you wanted to get a pet, before.”

“I can’t.” Jongdae says. Baekhyun’s world spins as he’s pushed quickly into Jongin’s arms. “I can’t. Baekhyun needs to be here, they haven’t even met.  How can I adopt without asking him first?”

“Maybe just for a couple of days, then?” Jongin suggests. “We can wait for Baekhyun-hyung to come back before you make it official.”

“Is he going to take another few days to come back?” Jongdae asks. His voice is frigid, Baekhyun buries his face in Jongin’s thigh. “He’s already taking his sweet time. Yixing-hyung says Baekhyun missed a recording session yesterday.”

“I didn’t mean—” Jongin says, and Jongdae sighs, reaching out to squeeze Jongin’s shoulder in apology.

“I’m sorry, it’s not a bad idea. I just— I wanted to be able to make a decision like this with Baekhyun, you know? But he’s fucked off to god knows where.” Jongdae says, laugh mirthless. He catches it on the last breath before it dissolves into something else. “Sorry, I’m— it’s late, I’m supposed to be going home.”

This time, Baekhyun turns away so he doesn’t have to watch Jongdae leave.

“Shit.” Jongin says, and sprints after Jongdae. He catches Jongdae on the steps of the clinic. 

“I didn’t mean to upset you.” Jongin says, clinging to the frame of the door, Baekhyun tucked under one arm. “I’m sorry. But hyung, you should have seen your face when I talked about putting him up for adoption. I know you want to wait for Baekhyun but if he’s not back and you let us give this one away, I don’t know that you’ll ever forgive him, or yourself. Please, think about it.”

Jongdae lets out a long breath. A moth flutters its wings under the moonlight, passing through, oblivious. Finally, Baekhyun hears Jongdae take a step forward.

“I know, Jongin. I’ll consider it, I promise.” Very softly, he reaches out to stroke Baekhyun’s quivering frame. “Goodnight, love.”

 

-

 

A week passes since the fight. Baekhyun knows this because he hears Jongdae on the phone. He’s leaving a voicemail, Baekhyun thinks, even though he knows Baekhyun almost never listens to them.

“Hey, it’s been a week and no one’s heard from you. I can’t believe you’re still angry, I’m sorry, Baekhyun, I really am. Please come back. Or call someone, at least. We have no idea what’s going on. Where are you staying? Are you eating properly? Yixing says he’ll put the track on hold for the time being, but that’s a very shitty thing to do, Baekhyun. Message him, at least. You can stay with him, I promise not to make you come back until you want to.”

Baekhyun hears a lot of these. Jongdae calls him every single day, and wherever Baekhyun’s phone is, no one ever picks up. He doesn’t always leave a voice message, fingers typing out text after text, but every couple of days, Jongdae paces the rug in front of the tv and _talks_.

“I adopted a dog.” Jongdae says, two days after Baekhyun comes home with him. “I mean, maybe he could be _our_ dog. I haven’t given him a proper name yet, I’m hoping you could help. We’ll be waiting for you to come back. You’ll like him a lot, I think. Please call me.”

Or, “I went to the park today. You haven’t missed a Saturday park date in two years. I kept hoping you’d show up, but well. Baekhyun, I’m starting to get really mad at you, but I love you, okay?”

 

-

 

Kyungsoo walks through the front door five days after Baekhyun is adopted by Jongdae. Baekhyun lets out a bark of joy and bolts straight towards him, cornering Kyungsoo against the wall.

“Jongdae!” Kyungsoo shouts. “Call off your dog!”

Baekhyun gives Kyungsoo a slobbery hello as the younger boy inches around him, bags of groceries held up in the air.

“Monggi, don’t bother Kyungsoo. He’ll cook you in a stew!” Jongdae calls from the bedroom, but there’s no heat in his voice.

Jongdae has taken to calling him Monggi lately, despite Jongin’s repeated warnings that the name will stick, but more often than not he still calls Baekhyun other things like ‘puppy’ and ‘sweetheart’ and ‘love’. Baekhyun would be jealous, except it’s really, horribly endearing.

“Behave yourself, little puppy.” Jongdae says when he finally comes out of the bedroom. Baekhyun flops straight to the ground in rebellion. Kyungsoo stares, but Jongdae only laughs loudly, rolling Baekhyun over with a toe. “Yeah, he’s a bit of a wildcard.”

“Hi.” Kyungsoo says, once he’s put all the food away in the kitchen. “So you’re the devious creature that’s ensnared all my friends.” He bends down and extends a hand towards Baekhyun, smiling when Baekhyun shakes politely.

“Don’t listen to him, Monggi.” Jongdae says. “Kyungsoo’s been dying to meet you. He keeps texting me, _‘Jongdae, when can I come over? Jongdae, does your new puppy have enough toys? Jongdae, can I buy him a mouse?_ ’”

“I did buy you a mouse.” Kyungsoo says, ignoring the rest of Jongdae’s words. “I know they're usually for cats, but Jongin said it was okay.”

Giving Baekhyun a heart-shaped smile, he pulls a soft toy out from behind his back. Baekhyun’s eyes dart towards it immediately, drawn to the pretty pink ears and the wiggling tail.

“Here you go.” Kyungsoo says, sliding the toy across the floor. Baekhyun leaps after it, tackling the soft plush material and startling when it lets out a squeak. Baekhyun has a collar now too, a strip of black leather with Jongdae’s phone number on a tag and a golden bell at the front. They take out the bell later, under the complaints of the neighbours, but for now it jingles merrily as Baekhyun tussles with the mouse on the carpet. 

Jongdae bursts out laughing. “Thanks, Soo.” He snaps his fingers a few times, calling Baekhyun to him, but Baekhyun’s too occupied with the toy. It’s impossibly soft beneath his paws, and it even has tiny felted whiskers and adorably round eyes. Baekhyun chews on the face because it's so terribly cute.

“He’s great, isn’t he?” he hears Jongdae say.

“He’s alright.” Kyungsoo says, but when Baekhyun looks over later, he knows Kyungsoo already loves him.

 

-

 

There are wonderful moments in Baekhyun’s life, now that Jongdae has adopted him. He’s still struggling to figure out how to turn back into a human, but meanwhile life as a puppy isn’t terrible either.

Jongdae spoils the living daylights out of him. He buys Baekhyun a kennel shaped like a tortoise, the shell a detachable roof so Jongdae can look in. He takes Baekhyun to the park every other evening, teaches Baekhyun tricks and gives him more treats than a simple 'roll over' deserves. He smothers Baekhyun with kisses all the time, and Baekhyun spends more time in Jongdae’s arms than he does on the ground.

Jongin teases him about it, when he brings Baekhyun out to meet Jjangu and Vivi, but he’s clearly pleased that Jongdae has taken to his new pet so well.

But now that Baekhyun lives with Jongdae, it’s impossible to miss the darker moments too. Jongdae calls Baekhyun all the time, even if he’s stopped leaving messages. Baekhyun never answers, obviously, but as each day goes by Jongdae becomes more and more despondent.

Jongdae’s cried more the first week Monggi moved in than Baekhyun has seen in his entire life, and no matter how many times the others come by or drag him out for food, he always comes home missing Baekhyun more than ever. On the first Saturday after Baekhyun leaves, Jongdae calls him no less than fifteen times and cracks the screen of his phone when he flings it against the wall.

“Baekhyun.” Jongdae pleads. The phone spins out of his grip, the automated operator’s voice droning on through the speakers for the sixteenth time. “Please come home, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Baekhyun paws at Jongdae’s leg, pressing his nose against the exposed skin of Jongdae’s ankles. _“I’m sorry,”_ Baekhyun says, “ _I’m here, Jongdae, I’m here.”_

Jongdae glances down. He’s not crying, not yet.  It will come.  Baekhyun lets out a series of barks, nudging against Jongdae’s leg again, hoping to be picked up. If he can’t comfort Jongdae in human form, he can at least provide little puppy kisses. 

A hand reaches down towards Baekhyun and he springs up, ready to pounce into Jongdae’s arms, but all he gets is a weak pat on the head before Jongdae stands and pulls away again. Baekhyun barks, clinging desperately to Jongdae’s foot.

“Not today, Monggi.” Jongdae says tiredly. He steps out of Baekhyun’s grip (gentle, even now) and heads for the bedroom.

Baekhyun skitters across the room hurriedly, but Jongdae’s faster, of course he’s faster.

The door closes in Baekhyun’s face.

 

-

 

It’s a couple of hours later when Jongdae opens the door again. He’s ignored Baekhyun’s tearful whimpers outside the door until Baekhyun had given up and fallen silent. Jongdae nearly steps on Baekhyun as he emerges from the room, and immediately scoops Baekhyun into his arms. He looks a wreck, eyes bloodshot and creases on his face where he’d muffled his sobs into the sheets.

“Sorry.” Jongdae apologizes, voice low. He holds Baekhyun close as he collapses onto the couch. Baekhyun can feel his heartbeat hammering against his chest and it’s a little stuttered, like Jongdae’s about to burst into tears all over again.

“You should eat something.” Baekhyun says into Jongdae’s shirt. “Or call Kyungsoo. He’ll come over.”

Jongdae doesn’t reply, just pets Baekhyun idly as he stares up at the ceiling.

Baekhyun turns around in Jongdae’s arms so that he’s lying back in the cradle of them, and looks up at the ceiling with Jongdae. There’s a watered down patch of paint from a few months ago, when the upstairs neighbours had left the bath running and forgotten about it. 

“We should maybe fix that.” Baekhyun says, tracing the edges of the water stain with his eyes. “If we make enough money and move into a new place, let’s get the penthouse next time.”

Jongdae blinks at him, soft and vulnerable, and slowly his eyes slip close.

Baekhyun rests his head against Jongdae’s chest, listening as Jongdae’s heartbeat finally evens out again. Something sad and lovely blooms in Baekhyun’s heart.

“Or we can stay right here.” Baekhyun murmurs. “This is fine, too.”

 

-

 

Jongdae gets better. Baekhyun is determined to see that Jongdae gets better, be it chewing on Jongdae’s socks when he lingers too long at a photograph, climbing into Jongdae’s lap whenever he makes another call to Baekhyun that goes straight to voicemail, or generally just making so much noise that Jongdae has no time for his own thoughts.

“Monggi, I’m home!” Jongdae sings today, as he comes into the apartment. Baekhyun knows it’s a good day from the skip in his step, and rushes out of his kennel to welcome Jongdae. He’s carrying his office briefcase under one arm, in the other he is clutching a large, flat box.  Jongdae sidesteps Baekhyun’s eager hello, carrying the box over to the wall adjacent to Baekhyun’s pen before setting it down.

“I went for lunch with Minseok today in Myeongdong, and guess what we got for you?” Jongdae says. He puts the box down carefully, pulling Baekhyun into his lap so he won’t get in the way. Baekhyun scrambles out again, sniffing the box, eager to find out what it is.

“Stay still, puppy.” Jongdae says, and Baekhyun finds himself being lowered back into his pen, Jongdae locking the gate behind him. Dejected, Baekhyun pushes his face into the bars of the pen to watch.

Jongdae cuts open the tape on the box easily, taking out a bundle of foam wrap that he uncovers oh-so-carefully, humming cheerfully the entire time. He talks incessantly to Baekhyun about lunch and Minseok and the department store window where Jongdae had found whatever it is he’s currently unwrapping.

“Minseok chipped in.” Jongdae says, wrestling with a long piece of sticky tape and eventually flattening it against his arm. “He says it’s a ridiculous present, but he let me buy it anyway, because he secretly loves you even though you chewed a hole in his leather shoes.”

Baekhyun hadn’t meant to. But they had been there, and they were so shiny that he just had to do it. Minseok didn’t seem to appreciate the fact that Baekhyun took the time to chew holes in identical locations on each shoe so that they’d match.

The last layer of wrapping finally comes off, and Jongdae spreads the present out across the wooden floor. Baekhyun goes breathless. 

It’s a piano. More accurately, it’s a piano mat, an electrical one if the loop of wires Jongdae has started uncoiling is any indication, and Baekhyun’s so excited he could yell. Yelling's not actually an option now though, so he settles for making some loud yapping noises, pushing frantically against the pen.

“You’re so noisy, for such a tiny thing.” Jongdae complains, but he’s grinning widely as he clambers over the keyboard to plug it into the wall. The mat lights up instantly.

Jongdae gets to his feet, rolling up the foam wrap and piling the cardboard together, somehow managing to ignore the racket Baekhyun is making and disappearing down the hallway with the bundle. 

Patience has never been one of Baekhyun’s virtues, and now that he doesn’t have the means to seize what he wants, the wait for Jongdae to come back feels like the longest ten seconds of Baekhyun’s life.

At long last Jongdae returns, brushing his hands down the front of his shirt, where tiny fibers of cardboard have gathered. Baekhyun barks at him to hurry up. Leisurely, Jongdae goes to the pen, picking Baekhyun up.

“Look, Monggi.” Jongdae says, placing him over the middle F. The note rings out instantly, and Baekhyun could dissolve with happiness. He jumps onto the next note and rolls the rest of the way down.

The keys are wide, so Baekhyun can’t play any notes that aren’t already side by side, but it’s a wonderful gift. Jongdae seems to think so too, overjoyed when Baekhyun tries to play him a song, clapping enthusiastically and throwing bits of lettuce from his sandwich at Baekhyun in lieu of flower petals.

 

-

 

The days keep passing. There are good ones and bad ones, but Jongdae regains the spring in his step as more time passes. He still leaves Baekhyun messages, but he laughs louder too, the playful quirk of his smile reaching his eyes more often than not.  On the contrary, Kyungsoo comes by one day with a newspaper that reads November 21st, and Baekhyun is unable to tear his eyes away from it.

It’s been six weeks since the fight. Six weeks since Jongdae thought Baekhyun walked out and never came back. No one’s heard from Baekhyun since.

Baekhyun has tried to leave notes, shredding the magazines beneath Jongdae’s coffee table, arranging the pieces into words. It’s never successful, and Jongdae takes the magazines away after the third attempt.  He does tricks impossible for most dogs, reminds Jongdae to take his phone when he leaves for work, brings Jongdae’s clothes to the laundry basket when they’ve been on the floor too long, wakes Jongdae up in the morning if he sleeps through his alarm.

None of it is enough. Jongdae thinks he’s the world's most remarkable puppy, never suspecting it’s because Baekhyun is not a puppy, after all.

Kyungsoo comes over often, keeps Baekhyun company in Jongdae’s lonely apartment and cooks for Jongdae. He used to do it before, and does it even more now that Baekhyun is gone, comes over when no one is home and makes enough food to last Jongdae for days. He usually leaves before Jongdae returns, not wanting to be caught in the good deed, but it’s impossible to mistake his cooking and meticulous sticky notes for anyone else’s.

After Kyungsoo leaves for the day, taking the offending newspaper with him, Baekhyun finds himself flattened on the rug at the doorway, waiting for Jongdae to return. He knows it’ll be at least an hour or two until then, but he can’t find the energy to get up and do anything else.  He lies there thinking about Jongdae, and remembering who he used to be.  Who _they_ used to be, together.  Agony slides between the bones of his ribs, crushing his lungs, slick as tar.

When Jongdae comes home, Baekhyun has barely moved in the hour-and-a-half since Kyungsoo left, and his head is spinning.

“Hello, Monggi, how was your day?” Jongdae asks, taking his shoes off and putting them out of Baekhyun’s reach. Baekhyun doesn’t reply, just looks up at Jongdae, eyes round as marbles. The fist around his heart unclenches slightly, now that Jongdae's back.

“Hello?” Jongdae says, crouching down beside him. He knocks on Baekhyun’s head very, very lightly with a knuckle. “Are you in there?”

Jongdae steps over Baekhyun, heading to the bedroom to change. On any other day Baekhyun would have run after him, but today he just lies back down. A few minutes later, Jongdae is back, wearing shorts and a faded college sweater.

“What’s up, little guy? Are you not feeling well?” Jongdae asks, stroking Baekhyun’s fur softly. He takes Baekhyun into his arms, relaxing slightly when Baekhyun melts into the touch as usual.  Sensing how worried Jongdae is, Baekhyun pulls himself together long enough to raise his head so he can lick Jongdae’s wrist. It works, and a curved smile pulls at the corners of Jongdae’s mouth.

“Come on.” Jongdae says. “Let’s go see what Kyungsoo left us for dinner.”

Baekhyun falls asleep at some point as Jongdae takes him to the kitchen, waking up perched on one of Jongdae’s knees. Jongdae himself is working, typing methodically at his keyboard, fried rice gone cold on the coffee table beside him.

“You’re up.” Jongdae says, raising his eyes from his screen. He carefully moves the laptop to the table and picks Baekhyun up again. “Feeling better?”

Baekhyun yawns, pillowing his cheek against Jongdae’s bare arm.

“Mm.” Jongdae says. “Probably shouldn’t go back to sleep just yet, you’ll be up all night. Go eat, okay?”

He drops Baekhyun into the pen, making sure Baekhyun eats a couple of bites before going back to his own food, as if only just reminded by it.

Baekhyun forces himself to eat at least half the portion even though he’s not hungry, emptying the water bowl after. Jongdae finishes his food and resumes typing, Baekhyun content to simply look on. He doesn’t know how long he watches, but he must fall asleep again because when he opens his eyes next, it’s to Jongdae scooping him into his arms. Jongdae’s freshly showered, and pressed this closely against him, Baekhyun can feel the coolness of his skin and smell the clean scent of citrus and cedar.

Jongdae gently deposits Baekhyun onto his bed, and despite how wrung-out Baekhyun feels, his stomach does a happy somersault.  He snuggles up against Jongdae to show his approval. Jongdae coos at him, holding Baekhyun while he reaches over the side of the bed to grab his laptop.

“Shall we watch Zootopia again?” Jongdae asks. “I know you liked that, you kept barking at all the animals. Do you think you’d make a good police officer, Monggi?” 

Baekhyun gives a tiny bark to keep Jongdae happy, and Jongdae brightens, leaning over Baekhyun to pull the movie up. A few minutes later, the Disney castle comes onto the screen, and Baekhyun presses back against Jongdae’s chest to watch.

The movie works to distract him from his thoughts for the better part of an hour, and Baekhyun watches, dozing sleepily under the shelter of Jongdae’s body.  Jongdae feels safe, like everything Baekhyun’s ever wanted, and Baekhyun’s known for a long time that he loves Jongdae but in that moment he finds himself falling, all over again. 

He misses Jongdae so much, the way Jongdae’s skin feels beneath his fingertips, the curve of his lips whenever Baekhyun kisses him, he misses picking Jongdae up from work for surprise lunch dates, and the way Jongdae says his name. He loves Jongdae so much, and he can’t bear the thought of Jongdae not knowing, the possibility of him never knowing that Baekhyun didn’t leave him.

It’s been six weeks since he’d woken up as a puppy, and Jongdae’s been treating him just as kindly as ever.  Meanwhile, Jongdae suffers-- haunts himself with the thought that Baekhyun walked out because he didn’t love Jongdae enough. The idea of it hurts Baekhyun so much it feels like he’s being ripped apart, and Baekhyun doesn’t realize he’s whimpering softly until Jongdae sits up, scrambling out of bed.

Baekhyun cries out, the warmth suddenly gone from his side. The bed feels shockingly cold without Jongdae wrapped around him, the noise of the laptop too loud, and Baekhyun tucks himself into a tiny ball, trembling. Jongdae’s back in a heartbeat, a soft voice and gentle hands picking him up, but Baekhyun can’t stop crying in earnest now, pressed against Jongdae’s chest while Jongdae paces the bedroom, movie still playing in the background.

He doesn’t realize Jongdae’s on the phone until he hears the rumble of Jongdae’s voice speaking, and he tries to quell his sobs so he can hear what Jongdae’s saying.

“Jongin, hey.” Jongdae says breathlessly. “I’m sorry to bother you so late, but I think something’s wrong with Monggi. He’s been really quiet all evening and he keeps making these noises like he’s in pain. I don’t know what to do, please help me.”

Baekhyun immediately clamps his jaw down, whine dying in his throat. Jongdae sounds close to tears. Baekhyun licks his wrist, nosing against Jongdae’s pulse.

“Are you sure?” Jongdae asks, and Baekhyun can hear Jongin’s voice on the other end, calm and soothing.

Jongdae looks down at Baekhyun, brushing a hand through his fur. “I think so.” he tells Jongin. “But can you ask Kyungsoo if anything happened today?”

There’s a pause as Jongin passes the phone to Kyungsoo and Jongdae waits. Presently, Baekhyun hears Kyungsoo’s voice take over on the other end. Jongdae’s replies are mostly monosyllabic as Kyungsoo speaks, but Baekhyun can tell that he’s calming down. Baekhyun feels guilty for making everyone worried, when he’s physically fine.  In any case, as fine as one can be physically, when you’re trapped in the wrong body. 

Jongdae ends the call, dropping his phone back onto his desk. On the laptop, the credits are now rolling, Kim Kyung Sun’s voice telling him to keep going while animals dance across the screen.

“We’ll go to bed, okay?” Jongdae asks, pulling back the blankets so Baekhyun can make himself comfortable. Baekhyun makes no move to go under the covers, instead lets Jongdae rearrange him, and Jongdae builds him a fluffy nest of pillows and blankets.

 _I love you, Jongdae._ Baekhyun thinks, and his heart folds at the thought Jongdae may never hear him say it again. Jongdae pats his head and goes off to the bathroom. Baekhyun hides his sob in the furrow of blankets, and in no time at all, Jongdae is back, climbing into bed beside him like he used to.

“I’ll take you to see Jongin tomorrow.” Jongdae promises, resting his hand lightly over Baekhyun’s back. “I’m sorry, baby. I wish I knew what was wrong.”

He kisses Baekhyun’s head again, and rolls away so he won’t accidentally crush Baekhyun in his sleep. Baekhyun listens to the cars outside passing by for a long time before the steady sound of Jongdae’s breathing eventually lulls him into slumber.

 

-

 

Jongdae comes home the night of Chanyeol’s birthday completely inebriated. Kyungsoo pushes him through the front door and they both fall over the shoe rack, jolting Baekhyun out of his sleep.

“Thanks for taking me home, Soo.” Jongdae says, and tucks himself beneath the coat stand. “I’ll just rest here for now.”

Kyungsoo snorts. He takes their shoes off, greeting Baekhyun when he patters out to meet them.

“Your owner is going to hate himself tomorrow morning.” Kyungsoo says to Baekhyun. “Please remind him that I told him to stop after the second drink.  And the third.  And the fourth.”

Jongdae tugs on Kyungsoo’s sleeve. “Who are you talking to? There’s no one there.” He sways spectacularly, head nearly meeting the floor. Kyungsoo yanks him upright, but Jongdae’s caught sight of Baekhyun and makes grabby hands at him.

“Oh look, it’s a puppy.” Jongdae says. He squishes Baekhyun’s head instead of petting him. “The best puppy in the world.”

“Do you know,” Jongdae continues, as Kyungsoo drags him to the bedroom, “that my puppy can play _Moon of Seoul_ on the piano? I heard him the other day.”

Kyungsoo wrangles Jongdae out of his clubbing clothes while Jongdae talks endlessly, flopping around like a fish out of water. Baekhyun laughs at the irritable expression on Kyungsoo’s face. He knows how hard those jeans are to get off even when both parties are helping, and tonight Jongdae is definitely not helping.

“Soo?” Jongdae says, once Kyungsoo’s dressed him in a T-shirt and sweatpants. Kyungsoo shoves the blanket over him, and Jongdae kicks it off again. “Do you think Baekhyun’s coming back?”

All the amusement abruptly cuts out of Baekhyun’s body.

“Let’s not worry about that today, okay?” Kyungsoo says. “Keep the blanket on, I don’t want to come over tomorrow and find you’ve frozen to death during the night.”

“Kyungsoo.” Jongdae gasps, jerking upright. “What if he’s dead? Oh god, I never even thought of it, it’s been weeks— Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo, he could be dead, maybe he walked out that first day and he _died_ —”

“Shh.” Kyungsoo says, forcing Jongdae back down. “He’s not. Do you even hear yourself?  Why would he be dead?”

“Why else isn’t he coming back?” Jongdae demands. “You know he’d have called you. He hasn’t even talked to Yixing, Baekhyun always talks to Yixing.”

“I don’t know, Jongdae.” Kyungsoo says truthfully.

“If he’s not dead, why won’t he come home?” Jongdae asks. “My puppy is the best puppy, but he doesn’t play _Moon of Seoul_ the way Baekhyun does.”

It takes Kyungsoo another ten minutes to talk Jongdae into a semblance of calm, and finally he drifts off into sleep, still murmuring sleepily. Baekhyun curls up by Kyungsoo’s feet, heartbroken.

“Fuck.” Kyungsoo says, dropping his head into the blankets with a sigh. “Baekhyunnie, where are you?”

 

-

 

Baekhyun’s painstakingly licking the stamps off Jongdae’s electricity bill when he hears someone rattling the door loudly. The movement is frenzied, unlike Jongdae. Baekhyun scurries away from the door, abandoning the envelope for the time being.

The kennel feels safe, even though Baekhyun knows it is not. He hides himself under the blanket Sehun had bought for him, staying absolutely still. The door slams open, creaking on the hinges, knob bouncing against the wall so hard it’s surely left an indent.

“Monggi!” Jongdae shouts.  There’s another thud as Jongdae slams the door shut again, footsteps thundering through the apartment. Baekhyun finds himself frozen. He’s almost never seen Jongdae like this, rare enough during their six years together as humans, and certainly never in the weeks he’s spent as a dog.

Jongdae’s briefcase hits the coffee table and misses, crashing to the floor. His footsteps head for the bedroom, the office, the laundry room.

“Monggi, where are you?” Jongdae calls.

There’s a rustling noise above the crate and Baekhyun hunkers down, barely breathing as Jongdae lifts the roof off his crate and sets it down on the floor.

“There you are.” Jongdae says, and Baekhyun chances a glimpse up at Jongdae. He’s white as a sheet as he looks down at Baekhyun, and both his hands are shaking when he picks Baekhyun out of the crate and sets him on the sofa.  Baekhyun nudges against his palm, worry for Jongdae overriding every other fear at the moment. Baekhyun leans as far off the couch as he dares, trying to get to Jongdae, who has pulled back to bury his face in his hands.

“Oh god, I’m going crazy.” Jongdae says. He peels his face from his hands and glances up at Baekhyun. There’s no prelude to it, then—

“Baekhyun?” he whispers, and a shudder goes through Baekhyun’s entire body. Jongdae’s looking right at him, _seeing him_ , and Baekhyun’s legs give out from under him all at once.

“Baekhyun.” Jongdae says, catching Baekhyun just before he slides off the couch. Baekhyun barely registers the fall, scrambling instead for Jongdae, because _please, please, Jongdae, oh god please—_

Baekhyun doesn’t realize he’s blacked out until he hears Jongdae calling his name repeatedly, soothing a palm across Baekhyun’s head, caressing gently above the flaps of his ears. Baekhyun whimpers pathetically and Jongdae says it again, barely a whisper, “Baekhyunnie?”

“I was having lunch with Jongin.” Jongdae says, staring blankly at Baekhyun, hand still poised over Baekhyun’s head. “And we were talking about some anime Kyungsoo’s been watching, where all the main characters become animals and fight crime and I had the stupidest thought.”

“Does this make sense?” Jongdae says. “Does it?”

The laughter that bubbles out of Jongdae is anxious, disbelieving. “Don’t be ridiculous, Jongdae, it’s a dog.” he says to himself, shaking his head, but he continues to stare at Baekhyun, palm cupped against Baekhyun’s face.

“Shit. You really look like him.” Jongdae laughs, mirth now tinged with hysteria. His face is twisted with pain. “We always said he was like a puppy. I miss him so much, and now I’ve gone _mad_.  Fuck you, Byun Baekhyun.”

Jongdae buries his face against the couch, fingers raking into the upholstery. It’s awful, and Baekhyun fights his way under Jongdae’s folded arms. He feels sick to the stomach, certain he’s about to pass out again, and finally slides into the crook of Jongdae’s arm.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” Jongdae says, lifting his head, eyes watery. “I’ve gone crazy.”

Turning around so that he can lean back against the couch, Jongdae puts Baekhyun onto the floor between his raised knees. “Baekhyun, if it’s you, bark for me five times.” 

Baekhyun counts. Once he’s stopped, Jongdae’s whiter than ever.

“It’s a dog, of course it barks.” Jongdae says to himself. “I can’t, _I can’t_.”

 _Ask me something else_ , Baekhyun thinks fervently. _Keep going._  

“Five plus two?” Jongdae says, without lifting his gaze from Baekhyun.

Baekhyun answers. Jongdae asks; Baekhyun answers.

Jongdae inhales sharply.

“Um.” he says, shaking. “Can you bring me my bedroom slippers?”

Baekhyun runs for the bedroom so fast he nearly slams into a chest of drawers. He’s too small to bring both of Jongdae’s slippers, but it doesn’t matter. Jongdae sees him coming back with the single slipper and makes a guttural sound, standing within seconds and snatching Baekhyun up in one hand. Baekhyun winces, Jongdae’s grip is a little too tight. 

There’s a hammering on the door, making both of them jump.  Jongdae stares down at Baekhyun as Jongin’s voice comes through the wood. “Jongdae-hyung? Hyung, open up!”

“Jongin.” Jongdae murmurs. He’s shaking all over as he makes his way towards the door, turning the lock.

Jongin pushes the door open at the sound of it unlocking, letting himself into the apartment.

“Hyung, what on earth is going on? You left so quickly, I— Jongdae-hyung?  Hyung!” Jongin dives forward to catch Jongdae just as he pitches forward, Baekhyun whimpering in Jongdae’s arms.

Jongdae thrusts Baekhyun at Jongin. The younger boy takes him carefully, tucking him into his side while he looks on at Jongdae with concern. “Hyung, what’s going on? Come on, you need to lie down.” 

Jongdae lets Jongin push him towards the couch, and once they’re seated, Jongin offers Baekhyun back to him. Jongdae shakes his head, and Baekhyun’s sure that Jongin notices the way his ears droop, because Jongin clasps a hand over Baekhyun protectively.

“Ask him to do something.” Jongdae says, throwing his hand towards Baekhyun. “Ask him.”

“What?” Jongin says. “Hyung, nevermind Monggi, are you okay?”

“Ask him something!” Jongdae says. “Ask him what four plus four is. Ask him to bring a pair of matching socks from the drawer. Ask him to pick my favourite book off the shelf. Ask him to play a song on the piano. Ask him if his name is Byun fucking Baekhyun. Oh god,” he says to himself, “this isn’t happening.”

Pushing Jongin away, he stumbles to his feet, going to the bedroom. Neither of them have time to react before he’s back, stack of paper in one hand and paint in another.

“Hyung, what are you doing?” Jongin asks, but Baekhyun knows. He leaps off the couch, hitting the floor painfully. When Jongdae sets the paper down Baekhyun’s already poised to write.

It takes a long time— the paper keeps moving whenever he has to shift to write a letter and the paint keeps drying up. Halfway through Jongin falls silent, even helping to hold the paper still when Jongdae falters, backing away.

 _I'm Baekhyun_ , the paper now reads. Baekhyun’s pawprints are all over the floorboards, and the ‘hyun’ is a little smushed together, but there’s no mistaking it. Above his head, Jongin and Jongdae exchange terrified glances.

“I’m calling Kyungsoo.” Jongin says.

 

-

 

At midnight, Kyungsoo drops onto the couch, massaging his temples. Baekhyun’s spread out across his lap, nosing against Kyungsoo’s hand. He’s exhausted after spending the past couple of hours spelling out word after word, and the apartment is littered with papers.

“I always thought you were remarkably well-trained for a dog.” Kyungsoo informs him, and Baekhyun chomps down on his finger in offense. He’s too tired and his teeth are too small for it to hurt.  It's satisfying nonetheless.

“Maybe we should call it a night, everyone looks exhausted.” Jongin says, flopping down onto the couch beside Kyungsoo.  "Baekhyun-hyung's practically asleep already."

Kyungsoo’s fingers smooth through Baekhyun’s fur tenderly. “Yeah, I think we all need some time to process this anyway. Jongdae?”

Jongdae looks up. Throughout the night he’s been alternating sharply between elation and disbelief, but he seems sapped of all emotion now.

“Yeah, okay.” Jongdae says, blinking. He gets to his feet, moving as though underwater. “You guys can stay, if you want. It’s late.”

“I’ll stay.” Kyungsoo says. “I called off work earlier, but I want to be here tomorrow morning, if that’s okay.”

Baekhyun’s eyes slip shut. Jongdae says something that Baekhyun’s worn-out brain can’t process, and then he’s picking Baekhyun up again, taking him to bed.

He stirs slightly, much later, when Jongdae slips into bed beside him. “This is crazy, but I really hope it isn’t a dream, Baekhyunnie.” Jongdae whispers, and Baekhyun fades back into sleep.

 

-

 

Jongdae is still fast asleep when Baekhyun wakes up the next morning, but he can hear Kyungsoo moving about outside. Baekhyun resourcefully shoves one of Jongdae’s pillows off the bed and jumps down onto it, heading out the door.

Kyungsoo tilts his head when he sees Baekhyun, unsure. “Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun nods, and Kyungsoo sweeps him up in a hug. “I missed you so much, you asshole.” Kyungsoo says.

He reaches for a bag on the kitchen counter and carries both Baekhyun and the bag out to the living room. “I went out this morning and got you something.” Kyungsoo says. He tips the bag over, and Baekhyun’s eyes go wide.

It’s little alphabet magnets, the brightly-coloured kind that children use when they start learning to read and write. There are at least a hundred of them, and Kyungsoo spreads them out across the floor, turning them the right side up for Baekhyun.

Baekhyun scrambles over the pile of letters, and runs straight into Kyungsoo’s knees. He’s making the funniest noises, a mixture of happy and overwhelmed, and Kyungsoo doesn’t stop smiling as he thumbs Baekhyun’s ears, his face, his paws.

“You’re welcome, now go write something for me.” Kyungsoo says finally, shoving Baekhyun towards the magnets. “Don’t swallow them. The shopkeeper was very insistent that I didn’t give them to any small children.”

 _How was morning— where Jongin— missed you too_ , Baekhyun spells, words atrocious as a result of his enthusiasm. _Not small children,_ he adds, just because there are so many alphabets and he has so much to say.

He continues to paw the magnets across the floor, tripping over them and letting Kyungsoo help him when he guesses the right word. He’s in the middle of telling Kyungsoo a long story about the neighbour’s cat, and doesn’t notice Jongdae sneaking up behind him.

“Good morning!” Jongdae shouts into his ear, picking Baekhyun up and tossing him into the air. Baekhyun shrieks, clawing into Jongdae’s shirt and Jongdae laughs like a maniac.

“Wow.” Kyungsoo deadpans, but he’s hiding a smile behind his hand. “I can’t believe I never noticed this sooner. You two are really perfect for each other.”

 

-

 

Baekhyun’s practicing one of Yixing’s songs on the piano when it happens. It is day sixty-two, exactly a week after Jongdae says his name again for the first time. One moment, he’s trying to remember the second verse Monodrama and the next he catches a glimmer of sunlight coming through the window and then there’s nothing but _pain pain pain_.

He gasps, dropping flat to the floor, clawing at the wood as he thrashes. For an unbearable moment there’s nothing but burning agony, pinning Baekhyun down. He tries to scream but it’s a bad decision— air empties out quickly even though there’s no sound, and when he tries to breathe he finds that he can’t.

He manages a strangled bark of Jongdae’s name through the blinding terror. There are hands on his back, his neck, his cheek. Baekhyun yanks away.

“Breathe, Baekhyun, please breathe.” Jongdae says, right beside him, and Baekhyun wants to shake his head, say that it hurts too much. Jongdae doesn’t stop saying it, however, and Baekhyun, conditioned to trust Jongdae even when he sees no merit in it, instinctively takes a deep breath. Air rushes into his lungs, leaving behind only the lingering memory of pain. 

Jongdae makes a muffled noise, and Baekhyun watches as Jongdae drops his leather collar onto the floor, showering Baekhyun with kisses. 

“W-what?” Baekhyun says numbly, looking up at Jongdae.  Jongdae is leaning over him, scalding tears sliding down his face and dropping onto Baekhyun’s cheeks, his hair. Before Baekhyun can register why Jongdae’s crying, he’s being dragged close, lips against his and familiar fingers squeezing around Baekhyun’s waist.

Dizzy and confused, Baekhyun kisses back, still too dazed from the earlier pain to piece everything together. And then he realizes that he’s in Jongdae’s lap, knees braced against the floor, a hand splayed across Jongdae’s chest, just above his heart.

A hand with five, perfectly shaped fingers, down to each very human fingernail.

Baekhyun reels back, hitting his head against a lampshade. The entire lamp falls when he flails to grab it, bulb shattering against the floor. Baekhyun doesn’t turn to look. He can’t take his eyes off Jongdae.  Jongdae, who has slowly gotten up into a half-crouch, eyes brimming with unshed tears as he reaches out to offer Baekhyun a hand. Baekhyun lifts his own hand, staring at it for what seems like eternity, before putting it into Jongdae’s. Warm fingers clasp around his.

“Baekhyun.” Jongdae says. “Oh my god, _Baekhyun_.”

“Jongdae.” Baekhyun croaks. His voice is thin, brittle.

But it’s there.

For now, that’s more than enough.

 

-

 

A few hours later, Baekhyun has built a home in bed under a pile of the thickest blankets Jongdae could find. For the first couple of hours that Baekhyun had turned back, he couldn’t stop shivering no matter how many blankets Jongdae found or how high they’d turned up the heat. Baekhyun took a shower so hot that his skin turned red, and Jongdae had to coax him out from the warmth of the fogged up bathroom.

Baekhyun hears Jongdae enter the bedroom, and Jongdae pulls the blankets up slightly. Baekhyun protests feebly as cold air seeps in.

“Shh.” Jongdae says, climbing under the pile beside Baekhyun and lies facing him, hands and legs all entwined, the blanket pulled back over both their heads. Gradually, Baekhyun stops trembling, warm beneath Jongdae’s determined hands. He burrows deeper into Jongdae’s embrace.

“I wasn’t sure what you wanted to eat, so I ordered a couple of things for you to pick from, okay?” Jongdae says, and Baekhyun nods into his chest. His throat still hurts from transforming back with the collar on, but mainly Baekhyun thinks he’s just not used to being able to speak again. Jongdae doesn’t seem to mind, content to just talk and press gentle kisses into the closest part of Baekhyun when the mood strikes him.

“Kyungsoo says he’ll come over tomorrow after work. He offered to come tonight to cook for us, but I wasn’t sure if you’d be up for the company.” Jongdae tells him. “He’ll probably bring Jongin, if that’s okay.”

Baekhyun makes a small noise of assent, closing his eyes as he curls his hand beneath Jongdae’s shirt. Jongdae’s touch is mesmerizing, his breath tickling at Baekhyun’s ear.

“I love you so much, Byun Baekhyun. Don’t you ever do that to me again.” Jongdae whispers.

“I love you too.” Baekhyun murmurs, and if Jongdae cries into Baekhyun’s shirt until it’s all damp, neither of them mention it.

 

-

 

The first few weeks after Baekhyun turns back are a mess. Considering how quickly he adapted to his dog form, it takes him so much longer to adjust to being human again. It’s hard to explain to anyone outside of Jongdae, Kyungsoo and Jongin what had happened, and whenever Baekhyun finds himself inevitably cornered and questioned, he can never find the right answer to give.

“You can just tell them, you know.” Jongdae says, after one night where Baekhyun and Chanyeol had nearly gotten into a huge fight over it. Chanyeol might be one of Baekhyun’s best friends, but he is nothing if not loyal, and hasn’t forgotten the wreck that Baekhyun left behind when he disappeared.

“I want to.” Baekhyun says, but the more he thinks about it, he realizes that he doesn’t, not really. It’s over, and Baekhyun doesn’t want to think about it, to talk about it. He might look back with some degree of fondness in the future, but right now it’s too soon, and all he can remember is the constant feeling of helplessness, of despair. He can’t imagine sharing that with everyone, having to convince them of what happened, when he doesn’t want to talk about it at all.

Jongdae seems to understand, though. He stands up for Baekhyun each and every time, and Kyungsoo and Jongin do too. After a while, the others stop asking, and things return relatively to the way they were before.

But it’s not just the people.

Baekhyun knocks things over frequently, walks into doorways and walls and trips on steps when he’s not giving them his full attention, unused to his body. He’s not used to being able to speak either, so the words feel a little fuzzy in his head, jokes always coming five minutes too slow, all of his quick wit faded away. There are days when Baekhyun falls asleep, distantly hearing puppy noises leave his mouth, and instantly wakes up in a full blown panic, trembling all over. 

There are days when everything he tries to pick up falls from between his fingers, days when Baekhyun looks down at his hands and feels like they belong to someone else.  Jongdae kisses him whenever Baekhyun drops something, kisses every single one of his fingers and then entwines their hands, holding fast, until Baekhyun grips back just as tightly.

He improves, though, in increments.  Jongdae’s with him every step of the way, and Baekhyun doesn’t realize that Jongdae’s fighting his own battles, until he comes home one evening and finds Jongdae in the living room with his face buried in his hands, Monggi’s things all packed away in a box.

“It’s not that I want him back,” Jongdae explains, when Baekhyun stretches his legs out into Jongdae’s lap and picks up a polaroid of Monggi and Jongdae. “It’s just, when I thought you left me—”

“I didn’t.” Baekhyun cuts off, alarmed, and Jongdae shushes him.

“I know that now, but I didn’t before. When you left, I was such a wreck, Baekhyun. I have no idea how I would have gotten through that first month without him— and yeah, you’re the same person, but I _miss him_ and I feel so sorry for it— I know you hated being him, but he was so important to me. It’s really confusing, Baekhyunnie, I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t hate being him. I’m glad he made you happy.” Baekhyun says, but he buries his face in Jongdae’s neck and doesn’t say more. After a moment, Jongdae packs the box away again.  Baekhyun takes the polaroid out when Jongdae is making dinner and puts it in his wallet, tucked between the notes where he doesn’t have to look at it, but knows it’s there.

 

-

 

Jongdae’s started working late recently, to make up for the week he spent fussing over Baekhyun, and when Baekhyun gets too lonely he makes himself at home in Kyungsoo and Jongin’s place. Baekhyun loves them so much, neither of them bat an eyelid even when he constantly shows up at their door. They watch movies together, Kyungsoo tries to teach Baekhyun to cook, Jongin tests the new choreography for his children’s class on Baekhyun, and Baekhyun sings rock songs in their shower until all the hot water has run out.  He steals Jongin’s already oversized hoodies, and then pretends to be Jongin so Kyungsoo will cuddle with him.

It never works, Kyungsoo’s single raised brow is always judgmental, but Baekhyun gets hugs anyway, and company, which is exactly what he needs when his own apartment with Jongdae is empty.

Today however, Baekhyun seems to have overestimated his thirst for companionship. Chanyeol and Sehun have joined like he’d invited them to, Minseok is tapping away at his phone on the sofa, and suddenly six people seems like far too many.

Baekhyun slips into Kyungsoo’s bedroom pretending to use the bathroom, but he’s so jittery all over that he craves a small space, warm arms, Jongdae.  He's had a bad day at the recording studio with Yixing, even though Yixing's far too nice to say anything about it.  Baekhyun's voice wouldn't stop shaking, and he's shaking again now as he stumbles through Kyungsoo's bedroom.  Fifteen minutes later, Kyungsoo comes in to look for him and finds his closet door ajar, Baekhyun peeking up at him, pink-faced, when he moves to close it. 

“What are you doing in here, Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo sighs, but instead of waiting for a response, climbs over Baekhyun and settles himself on a pile of socks. Baekhyun rests his head against Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

“You want me to call Jongdae?” Kyungsoo offers. “He should be done soon.”

Baekhyun shakes his head jerkily. “No, I’ll be okay.” He plays with Kyungsoo’s fingers, reveling in the small space and the feeling of someone close to him, keeping him grounded. “You have a nice wardrobe. I didn’t know you wore colours other than black.”

Kyungsoo’s lips waver, like he’s not sure if he wants to smile or frown. Instead, he says, “You can come live in our closet if you like. Hang Jongin’s clothes up, he never pins them properly and they keep falling to the floor.” 

“Okay.” Baekhyun agrees.

They’re gone for another ten minutes or so before the bedroom door opens again, and this time it’s Jongin. Baekhyun’s curled up against Kyungsoo, eyes closed, but he hears the closet door rattle open and Jongin whispering, “Is he okay?”

Kyungsoo’s fingers pinch at Baekhyun’s neck and Baekhyun hums, leaning into the touch. Slowly, he comes back into focus and blinks at Jongin.

“I’m okay.” he says, making to get out of the closet, but the second he does, his mind screams _wrong wrong wrong_ and he staggers. Jongin crowds him back into the closet and Baekhyun takes a deep breath, heart flip-flopping.

“I— I don’t know what happened.” he says, feeling Kyungsoo rise up beside him, hands over Baekhyun’s shoulders.

“Hyung, please don’t take this the wrong way, but can I try something?” Jongin asks, biting down on his lower lip. 

Kyungsoo glances at Jongin, frown visible even in the darkness of the room, but whatever he sees in Jongin’s expression makes him soften, so Baekhyun nods.  Jongin draws in a breath and crouches over Baekhyun, slightly nervous.

“Tell me if you want me to stop,” Jongin says. “But I noticed this the other day. You were making so much noise in the kitchen, and Kyungsoo-hyung reached out to strangle you, and.”

Jongin’s talking so slowly, so carefully, that Baekhyun doesn’t even flinch when he feels Jongin’s hands clasp around his neck. He’s not pressing down the slightest, his hands are just _there_. A fuzziness surges through Baekhyun’s body, welcome warmth combined with the tenderness of Jongin’s grip, his voice, words that Baekhyun cannot make out over the rush of relief. 

“Okay, hyung?” Jongin says, catching Baekhyun’s gaze. Baekhyun bobs his head up and down, fingers clenching around Jongin’s wrist.

Jongin counts to ten, and quietly he says, “I’m going to let go, hyung.” He waits three whole seconds— Baekhyun counts them, and then his hands are off. Baekhyun snaps like a puppet, falling back against Kyungsoo.

“Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo says. “You okay?”

Baekhyun’s breath hitches, he feels Kyungsoo tense. Before the other can move, though, Baekhyun whirls to Jongin.

“Come here, Jonginnie.” Baekhyun orders, voice steady.

Jongin looks hesitant, but he climbs into the space Baekhyun clears for him. As soon as he’s within reach, Baekhyun drags both him and Kyungsoo into one of the largest, strongest hugs he can manage. Jongin’s improperly hung-up clothes showers down onto them.

Baekhyun breathes deeply and lets it out in a pleased, contented sigh.  From his side, Kyungsoo groans into his ear, picking up one of the coats and spreading it out across his lap.  “Jongin,” he says across Baekhyun, “what did I tell you about hiding food in your pockets? How long has this been in here?”

Baekhyun can’t tell what exactly _this_ refers to, but it smells like it was probably spicy and delicious once upon a time.

“Hyung, don’t bring it up now,” Jongin says at once, ducking behind Baekhyun’s shoulder. “It hasn’t been that long, anyway.”

The door creaks open, and all three of them freeze, half in and half out of the closet. Chanyeol sticks his head into the room, and squints at them in the dim light. 

“Jongdae’s here.” Chanyeol says. He doesn’t even ask what they’re doing. “He said Baekhyun isn’t picking up his phone, so I buzzed him in. Wow, something smells like that fried seafood shop we went to last week, Jongin.”

Baekhyun drowns his laugh into the sleeve of his shirt.

“I told you not to call Jongdae.” Baekhyun tells Kyungsoo, even as he makes a beeline for the door, all earlier nerves replaced with a charming excitement.

“I didn’t.” Kyungsoo says. There’s a fleeting touch at Baekhyun’s cheek, Kyungsoo tucking a lock of Baekhyun’s hair behind his ear. “He came on his own accord.”

“Hyung, come here a moment.” Jongin says, returning from the kitchen where he’d hurriedly disposed of whatever Kyungsoo had found in his coat pocket. Jongin steers Baekhyun towards the entryway. Jongdae hasn’t arrived yet, but they’ll see him when he does. “How do you feel?”

Baekhyun clears his throat, recalling the gentle feeling of Jongin’s fingers around his neck. “I feel good.” he says, slightly pink. “It was nice.”

Nice is an understatement. Outside of the moments he’s spent entwined around Jongdae (two barnacles, Minseok calls them), it’s easily the best he has felt since turning back. 

“Kyungsoo-hyung told me you were feeling unsettled.” Jongin says, patting Baekhyun’s flushed cheeks. “Hyung, it’s okay. You were wearing a collar for all of two months. You had a small, safe space, and Jongdae could hold you in the palm of his hand. Then you lost it all at once, it makes sense that you’d try to cling to some semblance of it.”

“Jongdae says you’ve been hogging all the blankets.” Kyungsoo contributes. 

“I have not.” Baekhyun mumbles, pressing into Jongin’s hand. He has, actually, but Jongdae doesn’t mind. He just scoots in closer next to Baekhyun, and they wake up in the morning fused together as one, blankets piled on high.

“Sweaters, scarves, hoodies.” Jongin says. “You’ve been wearing those a lot lately. I don’t know this for a fact, but maybe a collar might help too?”

“A collar?” Baekhyun manages to repeat.  There's something lodged in the base of his throat.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Jongin says, and now he’s the one blushing. “It doesn’t have to be a sex thing. You liked it, when I had my hands around your neck.”

“Oh my god.” Baekhyun says, and buries his face into Kyungsoo’s shoulder. “Jongin, stop talking. Kyungsoo, make him stop.” 

“You did like it, though.” Kyungsoo says solemnly, and Baekhyun squirms away, only to find an arm catching around his waist, Jongdae appearing beside him.

“What’s going on here? Are we bullying Baekhyun today? He’s all red.” Jongdae says, lifting a finger to poke Baekhyun’s cheek.

“Let’s go home.” Baekhyun says, grabbing his scarf so he can hide his face in it. He feels like the ground’s been pulled from under his feet, but the strangest part is that he’s not actually embarrassed. It’s a little unnerving, to have Jongin and Kyungsoo dissect him so thoroughly, but it’s also nice that they know him so well.

“Let me go say hello to everyone and we can leave.” Jongdae promises, kissing Baekhyun on the nose. He slants a grin at Kyungsoo and Jongin, and tries to kiss them both too. Jongin makes a high-pitched noise but stays still, Kyungsoo smacks Jongdae in the face before he can get close.

“Okay, okay, I’m going.” Jongdae says. “Be right back, Baekhyunnie.”

 Baekhyun whines as Kyungsoo unwraps his scarf to peer at him. Chuckling, Kyungsoo covers him up again and pats his shoulder.  “I’ll call you tomorrow. Talk to Jongdae.”

Baekhyun doesn’t say anything during the cab ride home, just holds Jongdae’s hand and stares out the window. He touches his fingers to his neck lightly, once. Jongin hadn’t hurt him at all, and Baekhyun wonders if a collar would feel like that. 

Jongdae lets him use the bathroom first, laying out the clothes he needs for work the next day while Baekhyun brushes his teeth. Baekhyun stares at his reflection in the mirror, trying to imagine a pretty collar around his neck.

“Baekhyunnie, you okay?” Jongdae asks, coming to a stop at the door of the bathroom.

“Um.” Baekhyun says. He imagines Jongdae picking one out for him, fastening the clasp around Baekhyun’s neck with gentle fingers. Telling Baekhyun that he’s wanted, all the time. He swallows.

“I want a collar.” Baekhyun blurts.

Jongdae’s expression furrows a little, from concern into confusion. “A collar?”

It’s not a no, but Baekhyun’s face falls anyway. “You don’t have to.” he says, suddenly self-conscious.

Jongdae tugs Baekhyun close. The movement is akin to a twirl, and Jongdae nearly knocks his head against the sink when he tries to dip Baekhyun. “I can get you a collar.” he says, still holding Baekhyun in the half-dip. Like this Baekhyun feels weightless, like he’s in freefall. It's the safest fall of his life.  “Why do you want one?”

Baekhyun tells him.

 

-

 

The first time Jongdae puts the collar on, Baekhyun goes completely limp. Jongdae moves to take it off at once, stopped only by Baekhyun’s mute shake of the head.

“I like it.” Baekhyun says, when he’s finally gathered his words again. Jongdae’s been next to him the entire time, tracing worried circles in Baekhyun’s back. “I really like it, Dae.”

He doesn’t wear it all the time, but he puts it on whenever he feels on edge and Jongdae isn’t around. Some days Jongdae puts it on in the morning before kissing him goodbye, and Baekhyun floats for the rest of the day.

He’s not brave enough to wear it out of the house unless he has a hood or jacket to hide it, even though chokers are in fashion and his could easily pass as one. Jongin and Kyungsoo catch sight of it a few days after he gets it though, when he goes over to visit.  Baekhyun yanks the strings of his hoodie close, but Jongin only winks.

Yixing notices too, but he doesn’t ask about it. Instead, in true Yixing fashion, he tells Baekhyun that it looks pretty, and that Baekhyun looks nice no matter what he wears. He tells Baekhyun that he's been singing really well lately too, and his adoring smile for the rest of the day makes Baekhyun’s insides flutter.

“Had a good day?” Jongdae asks, every evening when they’re back home together again. Jongdae’s schedule has evened out, and everything is perfect.

“Yeah.” Baekhyun says, more often than not, “It was the best day. How was yours?”

A few nights later, he opens his wallet to take the polaroid out.  Jongdae’s smile is wide, Monggi settled comfortably over his arm. Maybe, Baekhyun thinks, there’s room for one more perfect thing.

 

-

 

The rattle above the door jingles when Baekhyun and Jongdae step into the shelter. The air in here is fresh and clean, the pets well-fed and happy. The volunteer sitting at the front desk is the same one who was here the last time they came by, and she brightens when she recognizes them.

“I’ll go get Mrs. Kim.” she says eagerly. “Have you decided who to get?”

She’s gone before either of them can reply, and Baekhyun pushes Jongdae up against the wall of the narrow corridor to kiss him.

“We don’t have to do this.” Jongdae reminds him. “We can just keep coming over to play if you’re not ready. There’s no rush, Baekhyun.”

“I told you, it’s fine.” Baekhyun replies firmly. “I love dogs, and that hasn’t changed, okay? And I know how much you miss Monggi. You look like you’re going to make off with one of the dogs every time we go to the park.”

Jongdae snorts, shaking his head. “Of course I miss him.” Jongdae says. “But not as much as I missed you.”

Baekhyun wrinkles his nose at the cheesiness, bopping Jongdae's head with his, and that’s how the shelter director finds them when she comes into the hall.

“Yeonjoo, didn’t you invite our guests in to sit down?”

The girl, hanging back by the doorway, smiles at them. Baekhyun smiles back.

“They seem happy there.” she says. 

Mrs. Kim rolls her eyes. To Jongdae and Baekhyun she says, “Come on in. Have you picked out someone you’d like to adopt, or are you back to visit again?”

Baekhyun nudges his hand against Jongdae’s.

“We’re ready to adopt.” Jongdae says. “Can we go in to get him?”

The puppy they’ve picked is larger than Baekhyun was, but not by much. They’ve come by several times now, and no matter how many other pets they’d played with, Jongdae had always come back to this one. Baekhyun likes him too, even if he’s a little prone to lazing around, happy to do tricks only when it pleases him. 

He’s not really like Baekhyun was, at all, but he has four paws, tiny pointed ears and tufts of golden fur and he’s just as cute, ten times more perfect. Baekhyun feels his eyes moisten as the puppy rolls over in his palms, tucks his nose between two of Baekhyun’s fingers.

Mrs. Kim is smiling when he looks up at her, tearing his gaze from the warm, trusting creature in his hands.

“I know I say this every time you come by, but I’m still amazed.” she says. “The pets here haven’t had the easiest lives, but somehow whenever you come by, they all take to you so quickly. It’s strange.” She gives them both a kind look before turning back to the shelves, picking out the rest of the paperwork Jongdae and Baekhyun need to fill out. 

Jongdae’s hands come to rest over his, and he kisses the side of Baekhyun’s eye when a tear escapes. Baekhyun can’t move, he’s so full of happiness, he’s afraid it’ll bubble out of him and spill to the ground.

"Not really,” Jongdae says, and his hand atop Baekhyun’s squeezes tightly. “We’ve seen stranger.”

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> You can pretty much tell all my ships and kinks from reading this one fic, I'm a little apologetic. I hope a couple of them might be yours, too.


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